not_a_troll | IC Appointments [Luceti]

[Billy can't help it- he lifts a brow at that.]

Mandatory? They really, really aren't. Most people just smile for photos...

[Where does this kid get such weird ideas.]

I see. So no duck faces. Duly noted.

[Loki looks up at the other.]

Let us do funny faces instead, yes? They convey the fun nature of an event quite well.

[He fidgets with the phone some more before he flips the thing around and extends his arm as far as he can.]

Let me know when you are ready, then I will press the button and make the picture.

[It takes him a moment to think of something - really, he hasn't made ridiculous faces for a photo since he was little and trying to make his baby brother stop crying, or something like that. Finally he squishes his cheeks in, eyes squinting.]

...'Kay, go.

[Loki chooses for a delightful combination of looking cross-eyed and sticking his tongue out as far as he can. As a god of mischief he deems himself quite talented at things like this.

After a short nod he presses the small green button with the camera-symbol on it.]

[Well, that was adorably goofy. Once the picture's taken, he relaxes his face and leans in to look.

...Yep, that's a silly picture alright.]

Cool, we're immortalized on my iPhone.

[Loki looks at the picture as well and yes, he has to admit, it is most silly. It conveys the concept of mischief in the most excellent way possible.]

Aye. I cannot agree more.

Do you also have these applications they call apps? Phones of I do have these.

[And without any further ado he starts tapping away on Billy's phone.]

If I call any of these numbers. Will someone pick up?

It sucks, but no. There's no signal, see?

[He points to the sad little symbol at the top of the screen that shows its lack of connection.]

It's the same with the internet.

I noticed that. It is a pity.

[Loki looks at Billy and nudges him.]

We could put our mission points together and request an internet connection. Since you must have oodles of them and I have a grand total of zero, you will be the one who will benefit the most from it after all.

And because of our bond of great friendship I will benefit as well. And thus we are so-called 'friends with benefits'.

[In where Loki completely misinterprets the term.]

[~~scream~~

In a demonstration of particularly stellar timing, Billy had been taking a drink from his milkshake as Loki said that. Which means that his spluttering reply was even more adventurous than usual.]

Oh my god- Loki- oh my god, okay- don't- don't ever say that. To anyone. Ever. Please.

[Loki snorts at Billy's response. Espcially when he tries not to splatter his milkshake over his clothes.]

We are not friends with benefits? Could this phrase mean something else? Or refer to benefits of a different kind?

Hmn.

Friends who profit from eachother, yes?

[Sob. Okay, that's a little less brain-breaking, at least.]

Yeah, that's... uh. I can live with that.

You could not live with the word 'benefits'? I have heard of this phrase a lot and it sounds quite accurate for the situation that has just presented itself, you see?

Please enlighten me.

[Oh god. Does he seriously have to explain this...]

It's not the word itself, it's- look, the phrase "friends with benefits" means people who are... y'know.

[He holds one hand up with his fingers curled in an "o" shape, thrusting the pointer finger of his other hand through it to demonstrate... well.]

[Loki watches Billy intently while he answers and oh...oh. Wait...but that is strange...

He shakes his head.]

I consider myself surprised and confused with the fact that the word 'benefits' refers to intercourse when used in that context.

[He mimics the thing Billy is portraying with his fingers.]

Ah, this gesture refers to intercourse too. By Odin's sores, why are Midgardians so focused on their rut?

...Because it feels really, really good?

[Oh god he is so not explaining the merits of sex to a kid. Even an immortal godly one.]

Apparently it does. Midgardians tend to be quite fond of it.

[Loki is not unfamiliar with the concept. After all, the world of online is quite full of people who have sex.]

It involves a lot of screaming and grunting. And sweating.

[Oh god.]

Who the heck gave you sex ed!?

[Seriously, who would describe sex like that to a little guy like this. (Even if it is mostly accurate.)]

Sex ed?

[Ed? Eductation perhaps? Lessons in sex? Did such a thing exist?]

Who showed me the workings of sex, you mean? Well, Midgardians like to record their sex with their devices and after that they transfer their films to the world of online for everyone to see.

I am not quite sure what purpose it holds. Perhaps they derive pleasure out of seeing others rut.

[Oh sweet freaking god Loki watches porn.

He does not know how to deal with this information.]

Um. S... something like that. Probably.

It has nothing to do with love, just lust. And a strange desire to be naked in front of the entire internet.

[Loki looks at Billy's face, noticing the obvious discomfort.]

Billy of New York, please do not tell me that you are assuming that I spend a lot of time behind my Starkphone to gander upon Midgardians and their rut. Even though I do understand that that is the most teenage thing to do, yes?

It's less to do with you doing it a lot and more that you've done it, period. It's like hearing my little brother talk about sex.

[He shudders at that. Sure, his brothers are much younger than Loki (physically and mythologically, obviously) but the point still stands.]

[There's a thoughtful expression on Loki's face.]

Is it that odd? And I a not your little brother. We are bros as in 'bros before the hoes', of course, but no brothers.

Don't take it literally, it's just a feeling. Kind of a quasi-adopted mental thing. I do it a lot.

[Maybe he just likes big families- he certainly has a plethora of them.]

I like that sentiment.

[Loki nods and flashes Billy a geniune smile.]

It is a good thing to share a bond. It is not that I have a large amount of companions at home. Thor is dead, you see?

[Um. Wow. That was said so matter-of-factly that Billy has to doubletake.]

R... right. Well, maybe someday we'll meet back home. I'm sure we'd get along there, too.

[action | A MOST VERY MAGICAL WEDNESDAY PAST] It kind of is /weeps softly

not_a_troll - 2013-03-18 11:40 (UTC) - Expand

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selfhelp - 2013-03-19 08:22 (UTC) - Expand

IC Appointments [Luceti]

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[action | A MOST VERY MAGICAL WEDNESDAY PAST] [what is this conversation]

[action | A MOST VERY MAGICAL WEDNESDAY PAST] mega sexual

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[action | A MOST VERY MAGICAL WEDNESDAY PAST] this tag is now tragic

[action | A MOST VERY MAGICAL WEDNESDAY PAST] It kind of is /weeps softly

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