Loki Laufeyson (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
not_a_troll) wrote2013-03-03 05:46 pm
not_a_troll) wrote2013-03-03 05:46 pm
Entry tags:
6.5 [anything goes]
[Loki will be standby at all times]
[Loki will be standby at all times]
Take all the time you need. I hope you can feel better. [He takes a light bow before he turns to leave.]
...Look, for it to be put that way- it's wrong. If he freaks out and gets people hurt or killed, it wouldn't be because anyone said or did anything, it'd be because he chose to do it. That's on him, not you.
[Billy crosses his arms, scowling and looking off to the side. It's a little disheartening that some of his idols are putting this kind of pressure on a kid, but lacking their side of the story, he can't really say much about that. He just hopes he can make this Loki understand the intent rather than pointing fingers.]
Just because they want you to be careful with your older self and not push him over the edge doesn't mean it's your fault if he falls. That isn't right, and they shouldn't have made you think that way. There's always a choice.
[Billy crosses his arms, scowling and looking off to the side. It's a little disheartening that some of his idols are putting this kind of pressure on a kid, but lacking their side of the story, he can't really say much about that. He just hopes he can make this Loki understand the intent rather than pointing fingers.]
Just because they want you to be careful with your older self and not push him over the edge doesn't mean it's your fault if he falls. That isn't right, and they shouldn't have made you think that way. There's always a choice.
[She won’t nitpick it; Loki’s apologized, and that’s enough. It’s strange, however, to see him right on the verge of denial an acceptance. He talks as if he’s very aware of what the reality must be, but still clinging to the hope that maybe it isn’t. It makes it a little easier not to talk him out of it; for someone in turmoil, he talks as if he’s thought this through pretty rationally.]
Okay. Then I’ll still go with you, if you don’t mind the company.
Okay. Then I’ll still go with you, if you don’t mind the company.
... sounds complicated.
[That is more than enough details, Loki. He'd ask more, but he already feels like he's prying too much here.]
Y-Yeah, plenty. Like I said, I'll keep an eye out. If I see her around, I'll let you know.
[That is more than enough details, Loki. He'd ask more, but he already feels like he's prying too much here.]
Y-Yeah, plenty. Like I said, I'll keep an eye out. If I see her around, I'll let you know.
[Loki is afraid that things do not work that way.]
It is on him. But the question remains what or who will trigger him, you see? I will not seek him out.
[He huffs, the anger slowly disappearing again. Still, he keeps pinching the bridge of his nose.]
But how does one avoid an individual who is involved with everyone you know? Everyone. While being bound by an agreement and all you can do is shut your mouth and watch? I am not a big fan of such things. No one is. If there was a list of great popularity this would be the least popular thing.
[Loki crosses his arms and frowns. It is the first time he has decided to speak about this while not using half truths.]
If there is a choice in this matter, why do I feel like he is the only one whose feelings are being taken into account?
It is on him. But the question remains what or who will trigger him, you see? I will not seek him out.
[He huffs, the anger slowly disappearing again. Still, he keeps pinching the bridge of his nose.]
But how does one avoid an individual who is involved with everyone you know? Everyone. While being bound by an agreement and all you can do is shut your mouth and watch? I am not a big fan of such things. No one is. If there was a list of great popularity this would be the least popular thing.
[Loki crosses his arms and frowns. It is the first time he has decided to speak about this while not using half truths.]
If there is a choice in this matter, why do I feel like he is the only one whose feelings are being taken into account?
Aye, it does. But it is no science of rockets.
Your help is greatly appreciated. If I do not respond, leave a message of text.
Your help is greatly appreciated. If I do not respond, leave a message of text.
[Loki arches an eyebrow but bows in return, thinking this is a traditional air bending greeting of some kind.]
I shall put time to good use.
[After that he turns around and walks off, muttering something to himself about Leah and her excellent timing to vanish.]
I shall put time to good use.
[After that he turns around and walks off, muttering something to himself about Leah and her excellent timing to vanish.]
[Loki shakes his head.]
I do not mind.
[He knows he can use all the help he can get. He cannot do this alone. Alone is very awfully alone. And there's still this small voice inside his head screaming that Leah might be in the forests, cooking food above a fire. And then there was another voice telling him that she is gone and he should just accept it.
Loki takes a couple of steps towards Frakki and takes a hold of its headcollar.]
Take a seat, I promise Frakki will stay calm. He's quite a docile horse. You can utilize the stirrups to mount it.
I do not mind.
[He knows he can use all the help he can get. He cannot do this alone. Alone is very awfully alone. And there's still this small voice inside his head screaming that Leah might be in the forests, cooking food above a fire. And then there was another voice telling him that she is gone and he should just accept it.
Loki takes a couple of steps towards Frakki and takes a hold of its headcollar.]
Take a seat, I promise Frakki will stay calm. He's quite a docile horse. You can utilize the stirrups to mount it.
[The honesty is reason enough to take this very seriously, and that's exactly what Billy's going to do.]
I don't know. Like I said, it's not right. But I guess, if you're the one saying he's trouble, they're expecting you to... I dunno, "be the bigger man". In other words, don't initiate any kind of contact, and avoid confrontation that way. Like, even if you end up at the same places together because of who you're friends with, just don't talk to him.
It's not a great arrangement, I can't deny that. But if you want to keep your friends, I don't know what else you can do if they're not willing to stop being friends with him.
[And he knows he's kind of guilty of that himself, since he's not about to stop his magic lessons, but... ugh, he just hates that they've put that kind of responsibility on this Loki. It's not fair.]
I don't know. Like I said, it's not right. But I guess, if you're the one saying he's trouble, they're expecting you to... I dunno, "be the bigger man". In other words, don't initiate any kind of contact, and avoid confrontation that way. Like, even if you end up at the same places together because of who you're friends with, just don't talk to him.
It's not a great arrangement, I can't deny that. But if you want to keep your friends, I don't know what else you can do if they're not willing to stop being friends with him.
[And he knows he's kind of guilty of that himself, since he's not about to stop his magic lessons, but... ugh, he just hates that they've put that kind of responsibility on this Loki. It's not fair.]
No, it can't.
People might leave, but what they meant to you? That still remains, eh. The impact they had on your emotions, your desires, your life, no one can ever take that away from you Loki.
So hold onto it, eh? Because that's a bigger treasure than any amount of infinite gold can ever buy.
People might leave, but what they meant to you? That still remains, eh. The impact they had on your emotions, your desires, your life, no one can ever take that away from you Loki.
So hold onto it, eh? Because that's a bigger treasure than any amount of infinite gold can ever buy.
No. I am not engaged in some great battle with my older counterpart for friends.
[Loki frowns deeply because, no, that is not what he wants. Yet...he did demand that from Leah. But she is a different case, she is more important than his own life. The first friend he made and the only one.]
All I can do is trust the friends I have. Friendship is all about trust, yes? Like I trust you to not ever tell my older self about this, even though you might prefer to trust him. Like I do not ask of you to tell me about the things he might say about me.
I wish to enter the state of 'not caring anymore', not about this agreement, not about his presence. As they say on Midgard 'not a rats ass'. A rats ass will not be given.
[Loki wonders if this could be the infamous 'snowball effect'. He feels frustration coming up, words rolling from his mouth non-stop.]
Perhaps I should grant him my great understanding and provide a reassuring pat on the back. And tell him I understand his situation and the pain he has gone through.
I should understand, right? Right, right, right.
But I have a hard time to do so. How odd is that...after all, who can understand Loki more than Loki? I expertise in loneliness and being despised by at least seven of the nine realms.
[He counts on his fingers while talking about the amount of realms that despise him.]
[Loki frowns deeply because, no, that is not what he wants. Yet...he did demand that from Leah. But she is a different case, she is more important than his own life. The first friend he made and the only one.]
All I can do is trust the friends I have. Friendship is all about trust, yes? Like I trust you to not ever tell my older self about this, even though you might prefer to trust him. Like I do not ask of you to tell me about the things he might say about me.
I wish to enter the state of 'not caring anymore', not about this agreement, not about his presence. As they say on Midgard 'not a rats ass'. A rats ass will not be given.
[Loki wonders if this could be the infamous 'snowball effect'. He feels frustration coming up, words rolling from his mouth non-stop.]
Perhaps I should grant him my great understanding and provide a reassuring pat on the back. And tell him I understand his situation and the pain he has gone through.
I should understand, right? Right, right, right.
But I have a hard time to do so. How odd is that...after all, who can understand Loki more than Loki? I expertise in loneliness and being despised by at least seven of the nine realms.
[He counts on his fingers while talking about the amount of realms that despise him.]
[She nods, her thoughts running along those same lines. Maybe if Loki isn't alone while he searches, it will be easier--whatever happens.
Docile is probably for the best, and Pepper sighs as she braces herself for the attempt. She's seen it done but never tried herself, and Pepper gingerly puts one foot in the stirrup before gripping the saddle. She doesn't quite lift herself high enough the first time, though on the second she manages, swinging a leg over Frakki to settle herself atop him.]
Okay. Like this?
Docile is probably for the best, and Pepper sighs as she braces herself for the attempt. She's seen it done but never tried herself, and Pepper gingerly puts one foot in the stirrup before gripping the saddle. She doesn't quite lift herself high enough the first time, though on the second she manages, swinging a leg over Frakki to settle herself atop him.]
Okay. Like this?
That is such a strong sentiment. Yet, it does not always stand. Memories can be rather painful, it reminds you of moments that you had and increases the longing for their return.
It depends on how strong one's mind is.
[He thinks about this. If he would go and dwell on the sadness it causes...it would not be a good thing. He knows what it can cause... He is stronger than this, he has to.]
It depends on how strong one's mind is.
[He thinks about this. If he would go and dwell on the sadness it causes...it would not be a good thing. He knows what it can cause... He is stronger than this, he has to.]
I don't know if it's that odd. Different universes, different people, you know? You're both Loki, sure, but that doesn't mean you're the same person. Just like you're not the same as the older Loki from our universe. You don't have to understand him because you haven't had his experiences.
[Billy frowns, watching Loki cautiously. He doesn't want to discourage this sudden and unexpected bout of honesty, but he doesn't want to end up saying the wrong thing, either.]
At least, that's what I believe, anyway.
[Billy frowns, watching Loki cautiously. He doesn't want to discourage this sudden and unexpected bout of honesty, but he doesn't want to end up saying the wrong thing, either.]
At least, that's what I believe, anyway.
Yeah, I would hope it's the latter too. You could try mounting a search into the woods, just in case.
I am aware of that. We are not the same person, we do not hail from the same Asgard either. We do not share the same background. Et cetera, et cetera. And so on, and so on.
[Loki's voice sounds a bit agitated when he says that. Maybe it is because he actually dreadfully tired. He refrains from going into his own older self. Things are more complicated regarding that and Billy does not have to know.
He sighs and notices once again how empty the apartment is. Finally he gets up again to check the cupboard. He knows Leah's other dress won't be hanging in it but just in case.
After that he turns towards Billy again.]
Thank you for your help. Although, I think I am in need of that thing they call 'alone time'.
[Loki's voice sounds a bit agitated when he says that. Maybe it is because he actually dreadfully tired. He refrains from going into his own older self. Things are more complicated regarding that and Billy does not have to know.
He sighs and notices once again how empty the apartment is. Finally he gets up again to check the cupboard. He knows Leah's other dress won't be hanging in it but just in case.
After that he turns towards Billy again.]
Thank you for your help. Although, I think I am in need of that thing they call 'alone time'.
[Loki waits patiently, the expression on his face completely blank. He is more than aware of the rather destructive path his way of thinking has taken. But the pressure on him is different here, it is different from being blackmailed, it is different from others threathening to kill him. It is a certain dangerous instability.]
Aye.
[He gives her a short thumbs up before handing her the flashlight. After that he gathers his scarf and wraps it around his face, followed by a pair of warm gloves and a small shoulderbag with his belongings.
After that he mounts Frakki as well, squeezing himself between the horse and Pepper behind him.]
Keep arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times. And hold on tight, of course.
[After that he clacks his tongue a couple of times before holding on to the bridles tightly, steering Frakki out of the stables.]
Aye.
[He gives her a short thumbs up before handing her the flashlight. After that he gathers his scarf and wraps it around his face, followed by a pair of warm gloves and a small shoulderbag with his belongings.
After that he mounts Frakki as well, squeezing himself between the horse and Pepper behind him.]
Keep arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times. And hold on tight, of course.
[After that he clacks his tongue a couple of times before holding on to the bridles tightly, steering Frakki out of the stables.]
I consider myself strong enough to not be weak.
Then hold onto the pain. It means you lived, and that you're stronger than that pain so you can overcome it and keep getting stronger, eh.
[Well, hoping...hoping. Loki's hope is between the first option and the last one. The first one would mean she is still here, the last one would mean she is back home and safe from his older self.]
Will do. I have to take my leave. I need to go out and rescue damsels in distress and the like.
Will do. I have to take my leave. I need to go out and rescue damsels in distress and the like.
Marco? Have you ever contemplated a career as a movie star? Because that sounded quite like something right out of a movie.
[But Loki gets it.]
What doesn't kill you make you stronger.
[But Loki gets it.]
What doesn't kill you make you stronger.
Moving pictures created by Midgardians. They mostly tell a wonderful story and vary greatly in length and sort.
They are available for down load through the Bay of Pirates and the torrent of bits.
I am sure you are familiar with the Bay of Pirates. Since you are a pirate as well.
[For some reason it is almost a relief to talk about such things. A pleasant distraction...]
They are available for down load through the Bay of Pirates and the torrent of bits.
I am sure you are familiar with the Bay of Pirates. Since you are a pirate as well.
[For some reason it is almost a relief to talk about such things. A pleasant distraction...]
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