3. [action]/[written] [slightly forwarded to the night from the 5th to the 6th of november]

[not_a_troll]

[Action]
[When Loki wakes up the sun is already setting. And he has to admit he feels rather horrible. His feet are cold and his neck feels stiff and sore. He is also not wearing his own clothes, but a black pair of pants and a t shirt to match. They dressed him up in rather boring civvies.
The journal is lying next to him and he grabs it but doesn't open it at all.

First thing he does after getting up is climbing a small tree, trying to sort his thoughts before anyone would spot him, because for some reason they fail to make sense.

Well, knows what he has been doing the past couple of days. There was a draft, undead creatures and he set up traps, met one girl with blue hair and another girl with knives. He got wounded. And that is where everything becomes very blurry.

He might have visited a hospital? Something with books about chess? And there was this vague image of Saori somewhere...and his older self. And blood.


He waits until darkness has settled in completely and the other people in the village are going to their beds. Honestly, Loki is not the most happy 12 year old at this point, and all he wants is to get to his room without being seen. Without having to answer questions or have awkward conversations that would only be a great contribution to that headache that is slowly developing...]

[Written] (the next morning)
Billy! Or anyone who lives on the fifth floor of the fifth apartmentbuilding!
It is of great importance that the system of heating is turned on inside my room.

If one has done so allow me to express my joy with a smiley face :-)


[OOC: Loki got killed during the zombie!event on the 28th, his death penalty is a creepy inability to feel warmth.

He'll stay the night at Saori's place, but feel free to catch him snooping around in backyards.]

Comments

[not_a_troll]

[After Saori said that Loki stares at her for a while. He tries to make up his mind and he figures that anger could be a logical response to this news.

Yet he does not feel angry.

But he is close to crying. And he hates to cry so he starts to chew on his lower lip. A couple of minutes later he replies.]

But I wasn't myself.

[So he did die...]

[windandrain]

[Saori's hands fall limply to her sides, and she hangs her head.

She feels that cold feeling again, the deeper instincts trying to claw at the edges of her mind. It doesn't matter they say He's weak. Leave him. This prompts a shake of her head and she reaches out to take his hands once more.]

No...you weren't. But I still killed your...form. I'm the reason you...I'm the reason you're so cold.

[Her hands slip in, knotting her fingers with his]

I'm so sorry.

[not_a_troll]

[Loki notices the way Saori suddenly shakes her head. He is not quite sure what to make of this all and it all results in biting his lower lip even harder now.

He wishes not to dwell on anger or on sadness. He wishes not to cry or be affected.]

I am not angry, Saori.

[To emphasize that he slowly moves to cover Saori's hand with his other hand. After all, it is a most friendship-like gesture.]

See?

[He smiles briefly.]

[windandrain]

[She moves in and hugs him once more, glad that he's not angry. She liked the little godling quite a lot, and doesn't want him to be upset with her.]

It gladdens my heart to hear that. I...did not wish to harm you, but...you were not you any longer. I could not bear the sight.

[A slender hand reaches up to stroke his hair as a mother might a child, her long sleeves wrapping him like a blanket. She shuts her eyes, and the nagging voices stop.]

I did what I did to set you to rights, so you could return to me with your mind whole. Because you are my bff, and I wanted you back just the way you are.

[not_a_troll]

[Loki decides to blame it on being tired and extremely cold when the tears start to run down his cheeks. After that comes the realization that hugs like these, where fingers comb through his hair are a thing he really actually needs.

So he doesn't move except for carefully wrapping an arm around her waist. Hugging is most definitely a thing bff's do from time to time, and he makes a note that he should introduce Leah to the act of hugging as well when he would see her again.

Loki isn't answering her, he just utters soft huffs from time to time, just because he really does not want to go and sob.]

[windandrain]

[She just stood there and let him stay there, hugging for a long, long time. Her eyes began to dry, and her fingers continued to play with his hair idly. The beat of his heart, steady and rhythmic was enough to pull her back. He was a child, and he needed kindness, else he might eventually grow into his older self. That was not a prospect she thought good, and if she could do nothing else, she'd like to prevent that.

After all, everyone deserved some hugs.

A moment later, Saori breaks the embrace but not the hand contact, and she leads him to the house.]

You're going to stay with me tonight, dear child. I can't leave you alone.

[not_a_troll]

[Loki relaxes. Yes, he is still cold, and his neck is still painfully stiff, but this is exactly the kind of hug people share in movies.

When Saori pulls back he quickly rubs his eyes]

I do not feel the warmth of your hand.

[While he follows Saori to her house he frowns and stares at his hand in hers.]

[windandrain]

[She tugs gently, leading him inside and guiding him to the kitchen table.]

Your body temperature is normal, I can feel that. But...

[She stops, her expression pallid]

This world takes something, for a time, when one passes. Perhaps that is what it's taken.

[not_a_troll]

[The frown on his face deepens when he hears that. Punishing people who died from their own experiments? It does not seem fair, and Loki knows fair.

He moves to sit behind the kitchentable, still busy with processing everything that has been told. Now he also notices Saori looks tired and rather pale.]

You should be in bed as well, Saori. As a b.f.f. it is my duty to be overly concerned about your well being.

[windandrain]

Loki...

[Saori's voice was low, and gentle.]

I'm fine. I've been having a difficult time with some things, but I'll be alright.

[She busies herself, spooning out pre-cooked rice and heating miso soup. They both needed to eat.]

[not_a_troll]

[Loki straightens in the chair he's sitting in.]

You are not a very good liar. You say you are fine and afterwards you say that it will be allright. That heavily implies you are not fine.

Thus, I have to call upon the esteemed values of friendship and request you to tell me what is bothering you so much.

[He looks at her with a small smile on his face.]

[windandrain]

[Her face falls, a heavy look in her eye as she stares down at the floor. Wordlessly, she sweeps two bowls of rice and two bowls of soup onto a tray and sets them on the table.]

You truly wish the answer to that question?

[Her voice was flat, and as it came out, she snapped a finger and two boxes of juice floated from the refrigerator onto the table, carried by a gust of wind.]

[not_a_troll]

[Loki watches intently as Saori pours hot soup and something that isn't spaghetti.]

Aye.

[He shivers again because well, its not that he is able to warm up properly.]

Trust is valuable to our friendship.

[windandrain]

During the draft, I was forced to kill many people. And two gods. Moro, the guardian of the forests here, was infected and put down by a group of warriors. She has not returned yet.

[She pushes rice and clear miso over to the boy before taking a seat, though the shiver is not lost on her.]

When I do things like that, it changes me. They are necessary things, this I cannot deny, but they are not things a human should do. I am not human, but I hold fast to humanity. If I act distant and inhuman I will slip away, and become something wholly not human. I do not wish this, because I love humans. If I were to lose my humanity, I wouldn't wear this form. I'd be in my true shape, yes, but my true shape is a frightful thing, beautiful and terrible. You saw shades of it before, when I lost control a month ago, but...if I let myself go without people to anchor me in my humanity...I will become something dreadful.

In brief, the more things that push me towards inhuman choices, the more inhuman I will become. Permanently. And that...worries me.

[not_a_troll]

[Loki listens and tries to concentrate the best he can. And as he listens he realizes that he still hasn't seen Ikol around. Well, the forests had magpie's but none of them were Ikol.

When Saori is done speaking he looks at her, because he understands this. Not just normal understanding, the type of understanding that took a great amount of understanding.

And it is worrisome. And extremely sad. And most of all, an act of trust.

So he picks his words carefully while scooping his rice into the soup, since rice tasted like nothing.]

It has not been an inhuman choice. And you shall not change, because you will not allow yourself to, yes?

[His voice sounds a bit soft and sometimes a bit muffled because he's eating while talking.]

And I will not let you change. Just like I will not let myself change into what I have been. Change is very important. To both of us. Thus that forms a most awesome bond of friendship.

[windandrain]

[Saori picks at her own rice, chopsticks moving quietly while he talks. She smiles at his words, considering them for a moment before she sets down the utensils and regarding him with an amused smile.]

Loki dear, you aren't human yourself. You're more human than I am, but you know that this isn't something a god can help me with. My housemates are very, very good at keeping me anchored and stable. Having a human show me kindness, love, and affection helps me to feel more like one. Being touched reaffirms it as well, but only by those humans I trust.

[She gives him a look, her eyes a little sad]

But I appreciate the sentiment. I know you mean well, B.F.F, but it isn't something an Aesir can help with. Though...for yourself? If there is something you want, so that you don't become like...your older self? Ask, and I will do it.

[not_a_troll]

[Loki pokes at the rice/soup mixture he has created while Saori talks. It is steaming hot, yet, if he dips a finger into the soup it just feels wet. When he pulls it out again there is a vague pain that might imply that he just burned his finger.]

Of course I am not, but do you really need humans to prevent yourself from turning into something you do not wish to become?

[He brings the bowl to his lips to drink some of the soup.]

I find that odd.

[Loki shrugs. He is not sure what he has to think about Saori's reasoning, but maybe that is something that lies within a difference between the pantheons they belong to.]

Aye. I shall keep that in mind.

[windandrain]

I do need humans, yes. My kind is different than your kind, you know. We are the living embodiment of our element, our forms changeable and our powers tied to that element. This shape that I am in now is what I choose to appear as, it isn't what I truly look like. But for the Aesir? You all wear human shapes naturally. You aren't gods in the same sense.

[She waves a hand]

My kind created the world in all its pieces. The sun and moon, the rain and wind. And we created humans to populate the world we made, so that we could share what we thought was beautiful. We gave them a world to live in, and they all possess a piece of us. Without the gods, humans wouldn't exist. And without man, gods would not be whole.

They are part of our reason for existing, Loki. To deny that and revert to something wholly spiritual would be to deny a portion of myself. My teacher taught me to remember that humans fear us, but they also love us, and that we are alien to them. He stressed the importance of remaining 'human' so that we might coexist, thrive, and be happy.

In short, there is a saying in my land. Honor the gods, and the gods will honor you, honor man and man will honor you.

[not_a_troll]

[Even though Loki's head hurts he is able to connect some dots.]

I understand. I truly do. I think this is indeed a significant difference between our realms and our existence as deities.

[He smiles carefully.]

Still, now we are bff's it means I shall come to your aid whenever you need it, Saori. I promise.

[And there is one last question...]

Would you trust me?

[windandrain]

It's a huge difference, Loki. Without the Aesir, there can be humans. Without the Kami, there is nothing. All the world would be a desolate rock.

[She nods, her expression blank.]

I know you'll help me however you can, dear friend.

[And she smiles gently at his last question. It hadn't taken her off guard, and she'd honestly been expecting it to come. Just a matter of time. And to her credit she told him the absolute truth.]

I would trust you as far as I would any other god. I see that you have a good heart, and you wish to do what's right. I'll fight to keep you safe, and I'll share secrets with you. There are parts of myself I would not trust to anyone, secrets that are mine and mine alone.

So, yes. I would trust you.

[not_a_troll]

[Loki curls his fingers around the bowl, still not feeling any of the warmth, but hoping it would be enough. He listens to her, aware of a certain giddy, hopeful feeling. After all, for Loki trust was a very important thing.

And Saori's answer is one he has hoped for, but he figures there would be a significant difference between trusting a human being and himself. Still, trust is trust.]

I like my secrets as well.

[The smile on his face is a tired, but warm one.]

Aye. I shall trust you as well. After all, trust needs to come from both sides.

[The smile remains, but his statement is only partially true. From his side, trust comes in small, dosed portions on very rare occasions, spread out over a long time.

But he'll try.]

[windandrain]

It does. If you didn't trust me, then I couldn't trust you.

[She gets a sense from his demeanor and body language that while he does, he probably won't ever fully trust her. And she's fine with that. It's normal, among the gods.]

How is your food, dear?

[not_a_troll]

[Loki shifts in his chair and nods.]

Once again the importance of trust cannot be denied.

[Its partially meant as a joke and he smiles playfully before he looks at his food. The rice was still very busy floating in his cup of soup.]

I do not wish to mock your customs, Saori, yet I am not sure how one is able to consume this soup with these sticks.

Or the rice. I am definitely sure that there has to be a certain...technique for this.

[windandrain]

Well, if you prefer...

[She waves a hand and wind brings him a spoon and fork, because she's a bit lazy. Silly Gaijin gods. ]

There is, but mostly it takes practice. Use these, dear.

[not_a_troll]

[Eating sure goes quicker with a spoon and he starts to scoop the rice from his bowl of soup, knowing very well that that rice probably does not belong in that bowl.]

Something tells me there will be enough time for me to practice.

[Loki huffs again, shuddering for a moment. Its hard to get rid of the cold inside his body.]

And practice I will!

[He finishes the rest of his bowl very quickly.]