4. [video/written]

[not_a_troll]

[When Loki turns the feed on it is really, really, really early in the morning. As in ridiculous-o-clock. And he knows it is ridiculously early and that is why he talks really loud. So that everyone who is in the process of waking up can hear him loud and clear. After all, everything Loki has to tell is very important and everyone should hear it.]

Attention denizens of Luceti!!

[A pause...]

I have everyone’s attention, yes? Good, very good.

From one user of magic to another, I have a question for all of those who practice the art of magic or sorcery. Are there some of you where this is a talent that is hidden within one’s genes or is it mere talent? Or is it something one generates from spells out of books? Or are there some who utilize magic wands or some other magic artifact?

This is meant to start an interesting discussion about the usage of magic, you see? To create a bond between magic users... A magical bond!

[Oh, the pun!

No way in hel Loki is going to announce that he is not quite able to do magic on his own and that most of his efforts end up in giant headaches and maybe one or two floating objects. And no way he will leave it to just one question. Loki likes asking questions.

He leans a bit closer to the screen of his journal.]

May I ask who is pranking my older self? Because to burden him with such an interesting hair do is mischief of a very advanced kind. As the god of mischief I wish to bestow great compliments upon him on her.

Maybe even an award.

[ According to the list Panda provided he has to brighten Nojiko’s Christmas with an amazing gift, and since Loki really wants to give a trolling good present to a maiden who seems to have purple hair he will filters this message so that she cannot catch on to this, yet, he will not mention her name either, after all, no one should be trusted with such information. ]

What does one give to a maiden with an interesting hair color? Something matching with her hair color? A brush to comb that hair? Or a ribbon?

Or maybe something so she can indulge herself into the act of shopping and try on different outfits? After all, that is what most maidens are very, very fond of.


Ikki, I have chosen a date of birth. I think the fifteenth of January will be fitting. Please announce it, I require cake and presents.

Comments

[not_a_troll]

Have you not been listening to my words?

[Loki looks at Isaac, both eyebrows raised and a look on his face that clearly says 'sometimes you say utterly stupid things, you have my pity']

[relictusdeus]

[He glances aside off-screen, feeling for something. Ah, yes. His fingers find a small square of dark chocolate.]

In the interest of not hurting your feelings, I was simply attempting to show interest in you by asking that you that elaborate on your idea that 'emotiona are a tool'. [He slides the square into his mouth.] But it matters not to me, really.

[not_a_troll]

[Loki follows those movements with his eyes and treats the other on an eyeroll after he is done talking.

Ah, and well, Isaac was right about the manipulation. Loki has a knack for that.]

How kind.

[So he'll give him that.]

Imagine you are upset with someone. You can either give in to your anger and rip that man's throat out, or use that anger to ruin said man's life.

That sounds most definitely like something that my old older self would do.

[relictusdeus]

[He giggles a little at the mention of the other Loki puttering about the enclosure.]

There is no reason why one cannot do both. ...The latter first, of course.

[not_a_troll]

Ripping a man's throat out is unnecessarily messy and utterly gross.

tw: talk of death and gore?

[relictusdeus]

How is it that you would prefer to kill a man, then? [He cracks a smile.] Slowly, cooing and whispering soothing nonsense into his ear, easing him sweetly and gently into death?

A bit, yes

[not_a_troll]

Me? I am a mere child, why should I want to kill a man? There is absolutely no reason for me to do so.

[But...]

Do you have?

Yeeeeeah, Isaac is special like that. :I

[relictusdeus]

Ha. [A punctuating laugh.] Think you that children, and you among them, are creatures devoid of a malicious bone in their bodies? That they are all such sweet and blameless things? [He wrinkles his nose at the idea, a vicious edge to his smile.] How precious.

[A beat passes. He wets his lips, gazing long and intently at the screen - and when he speaks again, his voice is lower, cooler.]

Perhaps it shall be in your best efforts to protect yourself; or perhaps to save the life of one whom you hold dear. Given the right circumstances, the time and the place, you shall have your reasons then. And in that moment of heat and fury - that moment when the beast within you rises, snarling, to the surface - you will kill.

[He does not make a threat of the statement. He simply says it as if it is an absolute truth. This much he believes of anyone; all it takes is just a little push in a certain direction.]

...I should like to be there when it happens. But, of course... there are always many things to be done.

[not_a_troll]

Oh, I do not.

[A lot of Loki's past deeds would attest to that.]

I am not a saint, but I am most definitely also not a murderer. Blood is so very gross. I am sorry to shatter your expectations of me. I truly apologize and similar expressions of being very sorry.

[Loki does not see it as a threat. He is aware that Isaac probably isn't a man of absolute kindness.]

When that happens, I shall kill them with my bare hands. And rip their spines out. You will approve greatly.

[In the background Thori growls in agreement.]

But...it won't.

[relictusdeus]

[he tilts his head, smilingly gently, sympathetically, as if he hasn't a mean bone in his own body.] If you insist~. Time shall reveal all things.

[not_a_troll]

Such an obvious statement, Captain Obvious.

[A grin.]

Please tell me if you know more of these very obvious statements.

[relictusdeus]

[Between the two of them, there is no shortage of eye rolling in this exchange.]

I notice you are inclined to repeat yourself when you haven't anything clever to say... or when you do not quite like what you hear.

[Captain Obvious is obviously clearly some sort of joke, but he fails to find the humour in it.]

[not_a_troll]

Oh? Really? Do tell. I am all ears.

[Loki folds his hands and gives Isaac the most interested look he knows of. And that is most definitely a very, very intersted look.]

[relictusdeus]

[Considering the sarcasm in their banter and his more-than-healthy skepticism he has for most things, he's not buying that show of interest. But it does elicit a smile.]

And... a word of advice, if I may. Have you any intention of deceiving me with an act in the near future, do try to be more convincing.

[not_a_troll]

[Loki starts to laugh, thoroughly amused.]

Do not tell me you took me serious.

[Ah!...]

So that means I have deceived you! Victory shall be mine!

yep, Ike remains the dickiest of dicks

[relictusdeus]

You misunderstand me... of course.[He cracks a cool, condescending smirk.] How silly of me to have expected otherwise from a mere child.

Re: yep, Ike remains the dickiest of dicks

[not_a_troll]

[Loki shakes his head.]

I have not. I have understood you quite clearly.

[And thus Loki flashes the L for 'Loser' sign above his forehead.]

[relictusdeus]

[Is that meant to be a phallic symbol? He actually happens to have several theories as to what that gesture might mean, none of which are accurate.]

Whatever you mean to accomplish with that gesture is rendered utterly meaningless by the fact that it makes you look like a fool.

[not_a_troll]

[Oh, he is old people! So that means Loki must use jokes and gestures suitable for such an age!

Well, too bad, since Loki is not old.]

You are unbeknownst to this gesture? Are you that old?

[relictusdeus]

I had always imagined the Loki of lore and legend to be far older than I. Older than mankind itself. [He muses aloud.] -- And how interesting it is that you exist, and the two of you should be in one place. Is there room enough for the both of you, or shall you fight brutally for your place until but one Loki remains?

[He snorts softly at the thought.]

...I lived long enough to see my twenty sixth year in 1479, anno domini. [A surprisingly straight answer. The exact date of Isaac's birth eludes him, but he was told, at least, upon what day he had been found.]

[not_a_troll]

You mean my older self? He is not me.

[Loki shrugs.]

So you're old people. Very old people.
I am not sure if I am familiar with ancient people jokes.

[relictusdeus]

Not yet, perhaps.

[He gives an easy shrug.]

A pity. The most clever and amusing of jests endure throughout the ages, often for the biting truth in them.

[not_a_troll]

No. He is not me. It is as I say. He is not me.

[Loki raises an eyebrow.]

I am sure it is. Yet, I do not care much for them, you see?

[relictusdeus]

Nor do I much care for your taste in humour. [He giggles low in his throat.] Although there have been things those from times far beyond my own have shared that amuse me greatly.

[not_a_troll]

I am heartbroken. As a matter of fact, it hurts me to the very core of my being, you see?

[Loki gestures dramatically to emphasize how broken he is.]