not_a_troll | 2. [video]/[action]

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2. [video]/[action]

[Video]
[When the feed turns on Loki is obviously sitting on his bed, looking intently at whoever is listening. The message he has for everyone is of great importance after all. Finally he opens his mouth, voice firm.]

Land of Luceti! There is something that has come to my attention and I see it as my duty to enlighten you about this, yes?

[He leans closer to the screen because this is a most serious matter, everyone.]

I shall tell you my name and then I shall explain you what usually follows.

My name is Loki...

[He pulls a face and when he continues his voice is higher as if he is mimicing a woman.]

Oh my! Your name is Loki! Shall I tell you about this other Loki who is also most definitely Loki?

[After that Loki clears his throat.]

Land of Luceti, I am very aware of my older self's presence, you see? It pains me to see how everyone wastes their time on pointing that out to me every time I mention my name.

[He smiles a broad and very, very nice smile.]

If there are any questions, please let me know. I am very fond of answering questions, yes?

[That is a lie.]

[Action
[Later that day Loki heads out to the forest to do some exploring. He still hopes to find his way back to Asgard, even though his opinion about this village and some of its inhabitants is leaning towards a more positive one.

He plans to go more in the direction of those mountains when something gray, firebreathing and extremely foulmouthed catches his attention. Actually, he is very ~~pleasantly~~ surprised.]

By Odin's empty eyesocket! Thori!

[Loki turns away from the small path he has been following into the bushes to fetch his beloved dog and scratch it between its ears. After that he lifts the dog up and holds it in his arms.

The dog lets its disapproval known by letting out an impressive amount of profanities. Loki merely shakes his head.]

Hush, Thori, you are a good dog, remember?

[Loki has left this letter for Asch to read. Neatly typed on a typewriter.]

To Asch the Bloody,

I am very delighted that I got the honour to write a man whose last name is "The Bloody". It implies that one is a bloodthirsty murderer who likes to end the lives of his victims in a most bloody way.

Are you fond of bloody murder, Asch the Bloody? I find it rather gross. After all, bloodstains are quite difficult to remove from one's clothing. And it is unnecessary messy.

Do enlighten me about your bloody adventures, Asch the Bloody. I am most interested!

From: Loki Laufeyson, apartmentbuilding 5, room 25.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Loki thinks it would be very convenient to train Thori to deliver his letters, he makes a note of that as he delivers the following letter to Asch's place.]

To Asch the Bloody,

I take it one is frowning throughout the day, brooding and wondering why one's life never has known a ray of sunshine?

Please do not fret about your responses, my expectations have not been that high to begin with. It prevents disappointments, you see?

from: Loki Laufeyson

PS: I fed it lettuce
PSPS: It is rather fond of lettuce
PSPSPS: It was very hungry

Edited (u didn't saw that html fail) 2012-10-10 09:28 (UTC)

[The next letter is delivered once again by a vegetable-demanding cheagle.]

Loki Laufeyson,

My days aren't wasted on something as pathetic as that. Just because I'm not so easily amused doesn't mean that I'm unhappy. And trust me when I say I'm not fretting over anything in regards to you or your expectations.

-Asch

PS: Don't feed him anything. Even if he begs.
PPS: It's not PSPS, the letters stand for post script, or post-post script.

[Loki is very endeared by that creature Asch sends out for delivery and feeds its radishes.]

To Asch the Boring,

As one can see I have changed your title. As it befits you much more than The Bloody. Wear it with pride.

from: Loki Laufeyson

PS: It is fond of radishes.
PPS: I am most thankful for your correction.

Edited (a much too many) 2012-10-10 17:56 (UTC)

[The next letter is delivered by a small, noisy tabby cat who will try to befriend Thori.]

Dreck,

I believe the saying is "an eye for an eye". Enjoy your new name.

-Asch ~~the Bo~~ ~~Blo~~ ~~Bored of Children~~ [fuck]

PS: The cheagle died from over-eating. I hope you're proud of yourself.

[Thori chases the cat onto the closet within 2 seconds, while breathing fire and uttering a various range of profanities.]

To Asch the Boring and Inventor of Rather Dumb Nicknames for Others,

I wish I could brighten your day by telling you that I am most impressed by this new name, yet I find myself rather unimpressed instead. You should work on that, Asch.

from: Loki Laufeyson

PS: That is a lie.
PPS: My guess is that everything bores you.

Edited (english i know this) 2012-10-12 11:30 (UTC)

[The next letter is delivered by the cheagle again, who is pointedly not dead.]

Since neither of us are interested in continuing this exchange, I consider it to be over. This should be enough to satisfy even that insufferable rabbit.

Asch,

You are most incapable of lying and making friends.

I am keeping the creature. It is most endearing.

from: Loki Laufeyson

[Thori delivers this letter. And Thori is not good at such a thing...]

[The next letter is rather singed around the edges and hastily written.]

I'll trade the cheagle for your hellhound. Today, preferably.

Asch,

Tell Thori to apply the cocked leg. It might prevent him from setting your house aflame.

And all in good time. After all, taking care for eachother's pets will form a bond, you see?

from: Loki

[Loki delivers the letter by himself.]

[No okay fuck this, he kicked the pissing fire-dog out and he's coming for his goddamn cheagle 8|

Expect a pounding on your door, Loki!!]

[Loki is fully expecting this and actually...doesn't really care. The creature is sitting on his bed and Loki has recently discovered that it is able to breathe fire. That is also the reason why his left glove looks very singed.

When he hears heavy footsteps down the hall, followed by rather loud knocking on the door he smiles and whispers to the creature:]

It is Asch the Boring...

[Star seems pleased about this, though he certainly won't have minded Loki's company. He's a nice young man and has given him lots of lettuce to eat. Even so, home is home, so he hops off the bed and starts for the door.

Asch, meanwhile, isn't a patient person, so he bangs louder. He could take it out with a fonic arte if need be- it's not like it wouldn't repair itself...]

[Loki puts the creature back on the bed.]

I shall open the door for him, yes? After all, I would feel very bad if he would bruise his knuckles by banging my door in such a fierce manner.

[After that Loki walks towards the door and opens it.]

You are being most loud and obnoxious, Asch. I do hope you have brought my dog.

Otherwise there won't be any exchange of creatures.

[Asch glowers down at Loki. Really, really? All his grief is coming from this little kid? He shouldn't really be surprised...]

I gave you a chance to trade and you refused. It's not my fault your dog decided to run off. Just give me back my cheagle and I'll be on my way. Star? Hey!

[There is a faint "mieu!" from the bedroom.]

I see, I see.

Asch, what I am about to do might seem a really rude response, yet I do think it is necessary. Hence you failed to bring Thori back.

[So Loki takes a step back and slams the door shut right in Asch's face.]

My deepest apologies! You have not given me any other choice.

[There is a pause. No less than three seconds of uncomfortable silence.

Then, Loki might hear something from behind the door, accompanied by a faint glow along the bottom edge: "Bring all to ash and ruin... Explosion!"

...And then Loki's door explodes.

:D]

[Loki knows a chant when he hears one and spins on his feet to head towards the bedroom. Asch's creature is making noises now that sound like 'miew'.

He crouches down in front of it and whispers.]

Your master is truly a giant bag of douches. I shall treat him as such, yes?

[He lifts it up and moves to open the window, placing the cheagle in front of it.]

It is safest for you to head home. I am highly against victims of the innocent kind.

[Star is conflicted for a moment; on one hand, if he just goes with Asch, the problem will be solved. On the other hand, he doesn't particularly want to walk into a fireball.

Maybe he can find Loki's dog... oh, that's an idea. With a chirp he hops off on his way.

Meanwhile Asch is standing in the smoking doorway of the apartment, looking rather cross. He's not seeing his cheagle, and this displeases him greatly. 8|]

[Loki smiles when the cheagle chirps. Such an endearing sound. He closes the window after it has taken off, slowly turning around.]

Your actions leave me unimpressed, Asch the Boring.

[He points at the door...or more what is left of it.]

I do require a new door, I am rather keen on my privacy.

[Asch doesn't even look down at the mess. He knows what happened to the door, and he really doesn't give a damn, either.]

You shut me out. What did you think was going to happen?

Well, I expected that you would bring my dog back. Yet, you are standing in front of me without him.

You cannot expect me to cooperate, Asch.

[A sly smile appears on his face.]

And you can't expect me to leave empty-handed.

[Don't you smirk at me, you little brat, you are not getting rid of him so easily 8|]

I am afraid you will, Asch the Boring.

[He still smirks.]

You underestimate my determination.

[He kind of wants to punch the smirk off his obnoxious face.]

[Loki raises his eyebrows.]

I do not. I have not even spoken about determination so why would I go and underestimate such a thing.

[After that he takes a step back and gestures Asch to step further inside his room.]

But do feel free to look around, Asch. When you are done I shall inquire you about my dog.

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